Khiladi 786

One year ago, Himesh Reshamiya met Akshay Kumar in a flight and they started chatting:

AK - Hi HR, why are you looking so upset?

HR - Sir, I want to sing, compose music and act in films.

AK - So?

HR - So this that no film producer is giving me a chance to do all that.

AK – hmmm

After a minute…….

HR – Sir, I have a brilliant idea, why don’t you and I together produce a film wherein I get a chance to do all this.

AK – but why will I produce a film if you have to act in that!

HR – No no Sir, I’ll play second lead (while thinking in his mind, “as it is, who’ll come to watch the film if I play main lead”)…..main hero of film will be you only

AK – hmmm

HR – and we’ll title it something with Khiladi…this was your franchisee Sirji with highest ever number of films made in India on any franchise and you have just left it!! We’ll restart your Khiladi series after so many years Sir; imagine the hysteria it’ll create.

AK – And who’ll play the heroine?

HR – Sir, this year, Asin has given two 100 crore hits in Housefull 2 and Bol Bachchan so we’ll take her

AK – what rubbish, what did Asin do in those two films!!

HR – Sirji, we’ll not make her do anything in our film too, she’ll only fill the heroine slot and bring lady luck to us

AK – but what all is the film about?

HR – Sir, I have an absolutely fresh and new idea….we’ll have you play a goon who cons people by playing a cop but is not able to find a bride, then there would be another goon who is unable to find a groom for his sister and I’ll play a marriage mediator who’ll bring you two together. And this sister will already be in love with another goon with some side track on them too and you’ll try to sacrifice your love for making them meet but then this sister will change her mind and come back to you.

AK – Oh…so it’s a love story

HR – No no Sirji, it’s different. It’ll also have lot of songs composed and sung by me

AK – Oh…so it’s a musical story

HR – No no Sirji, it’s different. We’ll also have your extended family with African grandmother, Indian father, Canadian mother, Chinese Aunty and a lost twin brother too who all will keep on coming in between and speak some dialogues.

AK – Oh…so it’s a family story

HR – No no Sirji, it’s different. We’ll also have some comedians like Johny Lever, Bharti Singh, Sanjay Mishra and Ghuggi who’ll keep on coming in between and speak some dialogues.

AK – Oh…so it’s a comedy story

HR – No no Sirji, it’s different. We’ll also have you knocking down 20 people with one punch.

AK – Oh…so it’s an action story

HR – No no Sirji, it’s different. It’s a multi mega masala entertainer ever.

AK – ok, let’s do it

I wish above had remained my imagination only but this film seems nothing short of result of some such random conversation. Cinema Analyst's Take – Stay away, don’t angry yourself :-)